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Nov. 23rd, 2005

Still need Xanax. Stomach still feels weird. Did I break my own heart?

I blew 40$ last night on one time substances. Do I not know that I'm poor? I've gone so long without a constant source of income, that now that I have it, I think I can just blow it all for a couple hours of a mindaltered state with a friend (Sarah). On the other hand, we had fun, talked a lot (we usually don't have conversations for hours), and got a smidgen of an inch closer. Plus, we watched Drop Dead Gorgeous, that can never go wrong. Not bad. I hate money. Hate it. Hate that I feel bad for "blowing it."

Benjamin and I are (well, he was until yesterday) staying with Mikie and Sarah until I saved up enough for an apartment. Their relationship flew away, so Mikie is moving out soon. Sarah invited me to live here. Excitement! Her madre owns the house, so it's just 100$ per person, per month, plus bills. The house is pretty awesome. A basement for drunken or loud nights, 2 stories, and an attic that's made into a room for hanging out. 13 blocks from work. 8 blocks from downtown. Within a 3 block radius are grocery stores, cigarette shops, pharmacies, fast food places, et cetera. Hopefully this will work out. I'll still save up, though.

I get to hang out with my nephew tomorrow. I feel so bad that I've only been over to see him (and my brother and sister-in-law) twice. I so fucking sold out. Maybe I'll bring him a gift. He's only 10 months old, but so intelligent for that age. I'm proud.

Random, pointless, random, pointless.

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